Friday, June 05, 2009

irritable!!!!

this is non quilting related, mostly, so if you are just interested in my passion for quilting...this is not the post for you. I haven't worked on ANYTHING in the last week ish! I miss it but I need some SPACE!!!

so you all know A isn't working. That means he's home. All the time. Whenever I am home. OK he actually goes and "runs errands" and "looks for a job" but I have no idea what he actually does. While he's gone I am home with R. I love R to death and I love A like none other, but seriously, I need some space! I need some quiet time! I need some peace and quiet. Now what's funny is I have yelled this at the top of my lungs "I NEED SOME PEACE AND QUIET PLEASE!!!!" to get nothing. Now R says it with the same tone I do and then she sits in my lap and asks me to sing "where is thumbkin?" Not quite right but I like the idea there sweetie.

I am already irritable because I am pregnant and hormonal. I am more irritable because my body aches since I am working on my feet at least 30 hours a week, and where I work it's not like you get a break, you are either cleaning or serving people with very little if any down time. My only time to relax is in the car on the way to or from work, no good! I need more. I need some time at home when I have peace, where I am by myself. I need to be able to run errands by myself (but now we don't have any money for errands...I want to get some things to organize and decorate the house mostly and fabric)

The fact that I don't have any space or time to myself for months now has worn me down and made me snap at the littlest, stupidest things. I am more stressed out than I need to be or should be and not just because we arent able to pay our bills. I never truly appreciated the peace and stillness when I had it. I took it for granted and even wanted more sometimes, now that I have none and see how essential it is to someones happiness I miss it!

OK, enough whining! off to play outside with the princess!

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