Monday, August 25, 2008


After so much time thinking babies, I am moving onto my other passion again, those lovely quilts. I have figured out how I want to quilt that bright green and yellow quilt. Thus far I have only done “stitch in the ditch”, which has worked well for all the quilts I have done. I have one tie-quilting, and one with sewn on buttons. But for that quilt I am going to outline quilt the pattern. That way it will be a simple basic quilting skill, but something new and with a quilt that doesn’t have strait seams the whole way along it will be nice. I will probably do it in yellow thread but I keep thinking black would look cool too. The backing is going to be this nice yellow sweatshirt material. Who would have thought? It was given to me by one of my regulars at work. She actually gave me a whole bunch of fabric, most of which I will never use, but some will be used in ways that were never expected.

Several of the co-workers I got close to this summer are returning to collages. I am sad to see them go, but I know how much fun I had in school and how much I want to go back myself. I made an offer to each of them that when they come home for a break, to have dinner with me. I also offered to send them cookies and care packages, or even just cards when they need something to cheer them up, or just because. I asked them to tell me when they are having big tests, and give me their addresses. I can’t wait to send off the first package, with cookies and a card, and maybe something else. I don’t know but I can’t wait. These two young ladies really touched me and I am excited to see where they go!

Sunday, August 24, 2008


I asked a friend to take R for a few hours a week so I could reconnect and rediscover who I am as a person. I offered to pay, because that was only fair. I even said if she wasn’t up to it with a busy school year if she knew someone who might like the job that would be fine but she took it. And she turned down the pay. She has given me the greatest gift! I don’t know how to show my gratitude or how to thank her but I will figure something out. I really need to find happiness within myself. I need to find the things that I enjoy doing on my own. The first few weeks I will probably nap, clean, hopefully quilt and read. After that, we will see what calls out to me. I can do all those things with R around, but it’s going to be nice to have the place to myself and be by myself even if I do nothing. I love R to death and am a wonderful mother, but with working so hard and so many strange hours and then being around R the rest of the time I need to have some peace! Is this selfish? Probably, but I think I will be a kinder, more patient more attentive mommy if I take care of myself first!

An update on that baby fever junk. I went to the store that had the cute girl set that I wanted and their last one was sold. Bummer!! I guess I will have to keep my eyes peeled and look for either cute soft fabrics or another bed set…again why am I so fixated on this? I know our next baby will be tried for which will be nice. R was such a pleasant surprise, but none the less she caught us off guard! A and I have talked about it and he’s almost ready to start trying but agrees buying a house first would be nice so we can move in before getting pregnant and me loosing all energy. That is a few months away, but less than a year!! Maybe because we never got to really give her what we wanted to I am giving that some attention.

I found another set of boy things I like if we have a boy, it’s at Target again, and I think A will like it a lot, but it’s expensive. Why am I wasting my time though? I will let myself drool for a few more days and then be over it. I think he’d choose that one, but it’s so pricey and doesn’t have a lot of accessories to go with it. Then again I am crafty and could make some more.

I promise I will talk about something more substantial sometime soon, but if anyone has any of the Child of Mine by Carters Looking Pretty collection or knows where I can get it for R (she needs a new sheet like that collection) and for my little stash for next time, please let me know! I REALLY want it and wish they had that particular collection when I was pregnant. I would have bought extras and everything!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

the baby bug

Baby fever is really hitting me right now, everyone around is either trying, or already is pregnant. I have decided, weather A likes it or not, we are going to wait until we know where we are settled for a while, and hopefully after we buy a house. I also want to wait until I have lost some weight and am back to a shape that I am more comfortable in and happier with. No, I am not overweight, but I don’t feel like this body is really mine, I feel heavy, lethargic, and am almost embarrassed to wear my body if that’s possible. Yes, some more financial stability is my goal too, but we have been working on that and I feel like we are getting towards that.

About a week ago, maybe two I went through all of R’s stuff from when she was little. Not for nostalgia or to dream about what it would be like to use those swaddling blankies again, and the breast pump (actually, I will buy a new one, that one is over 10 years old now!) I was doing it to try and better organize the stuff for future reference and to get everything to fit into bins. I was moving all of her clothes into bigger sizes (24 mo/2T) I realized I had bins labeled everything from 0-12 months, 18 months and baby basics, toys and shoes….lets get things divvied up by proper categories here! Now I have bins for baby basics (unused little diapers in Ziploc bags, alcohol wipes, pacifiers we never used, the boppy pillow, swaddling blankets, you know, basics. 0-3 months (with the breast pump in there incase I can reuse parts of it with a new one) 3-6 months, 6-9 months, 12 months, and 18 months.

While going through her things, I realized how much I wish we had been able to put together a nice room for R. I always have felt guilty about that. I tried at the first place we lived in but no one gave us the necessary things. A’s mom bought us a crib, but not one I liked, it would be great if we had a boy but I really wanted a white or dark brown crib regardless of the gender. I never had matching sheets, I never had anything that I liked, When I was pregnant I kept looking for a sweet, cute, soft pink and green nursery set for her. I never found one so I found a pattern to make one I liked. Well never found fabric I loved for it. I made a bumper and bought sheets to go with it, but never made the whole thing. I never decorated her room. Right now she has her name up on the wall in green letters, she has a quilt hanging on another wall, her birthday dressed on a third wall and a big balloon a friend gave her for her first Easter. It’s alright for now, but I want to actually make her room special. My goal when we buy a house is to go and do up her room. I am planning in the next month to start setting aside funds just for her room and whatever’s left over will go into a fund for the next baby, whenever we have it.

Something that seems silly to buy, and I know I shouldn’t and A will be MAD if I do is a crib/nursery set for her…I know she’s outgrown it. But I finally found the one I would have wanted for her, the one I love and the one I would have made her room around. Here’s why I want to go buy it: 1) if we have another girl I want the girls to share a room, even if we have enough to give them each their own. I think it’s important for children to share a room for at least some time in their lives to learn lessons that they can only learn on their own with each other. If that’s the case I will just use the same color scheme and keep everything pink and green. 2) if we don’t have another girl I still will hang onto all these things not because I am so sentimental but because I had little to start out with, my parents had little when they had me, and I know if she, or any of our children, continue in our footsteps they will not have a lot and it would be nice to pass down things or keep them for when the grandkids come to visit.

There’s a whole collection at Target that I want for a little boy. I am sure they will change befor ewe have another boy, but if I were to find out next month that we were having one, I Would register for this collection. You can find it at my second choice would be something sports related, though I haven’t seen anything that calls my name yet, again I don’t need to look though. I, next time will do the whole room up. Next time we will own our own house and can paint the walls and nail things in. Next time…We will plan more.

The only catch there is I don’t want ot know what we are having. I may ask whomever throws me a shower to know what we are having and not open any gender specific gifts or have the shower post-birth. I may find out if A wants to but we have enough girl stuff for the time being and boy stuff…well I don’t know. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there.

For now I need to start thinking toddler bed stuff! I might ask my parents for Christmas to help us pick out a trundle twin bed for R so we can have a guest bed too or if we buy a house one for the guest room….and convert her crib to a toddler bed. I know she’d like Dora bedding which we can have one set of, but I still want to keep pink and green as her main bedroom theme. That way as she grows up but before she can make real decisions we can easily update her room. Maybe we should do that for a boy, blue and yellow? We have plenty of time!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

guilty gifts

I did something stupid yesterday. Well, not entirely, I just feel guilty about it. A and I have been trying to figure out a system for saving up money for things that we really want and finally came up with one that seams to be working so far. We went to Costco to buy him an x-box 360 (we really wanted the wii but can’t find it anywhere and after two weeks of looking, I give up! But he’s wanted the 360 for a while now, so we got that and will wait until Christmas time for the wii, especially since I want the wii fit deal and he wants something else….It can wait.

Well after we got that for him, we went to Wal-Mart, I wanted to see if they had some fabric, I was looking for a particular pattern and yes indeed they did, so I bought it (meaning to buy just a little now and the rest later) $89.77 later…ouch!! I am going to make 6 aprons (one child’s medium for R, two misses med for my brothers girlfriend and I, and three misses larges for my mom, my aunt J and Nana…maybe another child’s medium for A’s niece if I have enough left over) from Simplicity pattern 2824 and then a tree skirt for myself and maybe my brother from Simplicity pattern 4842 If you look on the apron pattern packet you will see the Christmas apron on the bottom left side, that’s the fabric I bought. I was just trying to take a picture of it but my camera is acting funny. I will have to fiddle with it and maybe get A to look at it. It’s all so cute. I bought some extra to use in a quilt for Christmas time and two pillows (which were on a little flyer at Wal-Mart a while ago and where I got the inspiration from)

I know that it’s not a huge expense in the long run as far as Christmas gifts go, take 89/8 projects…well two should be more expensive than the other six…so let me do some algebra here….it’s been a while…Aprons will be about $5.35 each, the tree skirts will be about $17.87 each, pillow cases $3/72 each and the quilt will be about $14.29 so far, but I will need to get some coordinating fabrics to add some interest and tone it down, or highlight, or however you want to explain it, plus backing fabric. And I need a few extras for all the projects, namely thread, cording, fringe like stuff, and several D-rings. Not that bad as far as gifts go though! It’s just a lot at once!

In other news, not much has been going on around here, I just keep playing and having fun with R. She’s been challenging me a lot lately and I am learning a lot about my patience. I used to think I was a very patient person, but I have learned my limit and am working to make it a higher threshold. A and I have been doing really well as a couple lately (which shouldn’t be unusual but sometimes we go through patches.) He has been spending a lot more time with me and that has made a huge difference! R is going through something where she is just clingy as all can be when he is home, it’s beginning to bother him but I think it’s sweet and know it will pass. It has been driving him NUTS though, he can’t do anything without her trying to tag along and asking to be held!

Friday, August 08, 2008

incomplete thoughts

I have not finished this post, but I need to post what I have now before my computer shuts off one more time and I have to search the harddrive for the last opened document since I never save my blog posts except on here:

R and I got home from packing up our campsite at Relay for Life this afternoon. This year was not as much fun as last, but I think I know how to help make next years more fun. A big part of the problem this year is that we were unorganized, unprepared, and unavailable. Most people had to work at least one shift during the event, therefore no one really could stay and play. I had a blast though. My only real complaint is that R would not go night night out there, even though we had her play and pack. Next time I think we will need a tent or mark of part of our tent with tarps (it was a huge overhead tent, no sides, but the poles, it could be divided into 6 “rooms”) so she has a room to herself without distractions around and can settle down.

There is a thunderstorm happening outside right now, rain lightning, the works. I love storms but thank goodness it wasn’t going on yesterday, with the Relay. All those tents, all those people. I wouldn’t mind rain, but thunder and lightning on a foorball field/track with only tents (with poles) to protect us, no thank you!

I will finish this later! enjoy it for now!