Sunday, August 24, 2008


I asked a friend to take R for a few hours a week so I could reconnect and rediscover who I am as a person. I offered to pay, because that was only fair. I even said if she wasn’t up to it with a busy school year if she knew someone who might like the job that would be fine but she took it. And she turned down the pay. She has given me the greatest gift! I don’t know how to show my gratitude or how to thank her but I will figure something out. I really need to find happiness within myself. I need to find the things that I enjoy doing on my own. The first few weeks I will probably nap, clean, hopefully quilt and read. After that, we will see what calls out to me. I can do all those things with R around, but it’s going to be nice to have the place to myself and be by myself even if I do nothing. I love R to death and am a wonderful mother, but with working so hard and so many strange hours and then being around R the rest of the time I need to have some peace! Is this selfish? Probably, but I think I will be a kinder, more patient more attentive mommy if I take care of myself first!

An update on that baby fever junk. I went to the store that had the cute girl set that I wanted and their last one was sold. Bummer!! I guess I will have to keep my eyes peeled and look for either cute soft fabrics or another bed set…again why am I so fixated on this? I know our next baby will be tried for which will be nice. R was such a pleasant surprise, but none the less she caught us off guard! A and I have talked about it and he’s almost ready to start trying but agrees buying a house first would be nice so we can move in before getting pregnant and me loosing all energy. That is a few months away, but less than a year!! Maybe because we never got to really give her what we wanted to I am giving that some attention.

I found another set of boy things I like if we have a boy, it’s at Target again, and I think A will like it a lot, but it’s expensive. Why am I wasting my time though? I will let myself drool for a few more days and then be over it. I think he’d choose that one, but it’s so pricey and doesn’t have a lot of accessories to go with it. Then again I am crafty and could make some more.

I promise I will talk about something more substantial sometime soon, but if anyone has any of the Child of Mine by Carters Looking Pretty collection or knows where I can get it for R (she needs a new sheet like that collection) and for my little stash for next time, please let me know! I REALLY want it and wish they had that particular collection when I was pregnant. I would have bought extras and everything!

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