Wednesday, October 25, 2006

it's been too long!

So much has happened, and yet nothing has. R is growing big and strong every day. She loves to stand and kick. She has a definite personality already and I am loving it. She is stubborn and independent. She is loving and careful. She is curious and intelligent. She knows what’s going on and what is happening and people are always commenting on how alert she is. “four months and she’s that awake and responsive!”

I went to the Real Food Store today and saw one of my co-workers and my yoga instructor. I was pregnant while doing yoga…so she had to tell me not to do some poses. If she hadn’t told me I would have done them because I am that stubborn. I loved my yoga classes, and this one was great because she used me as a demo many times, and I was flexible and bendy. I was seated next to the football players who were not flexible at all and I kept thinking to myself “I am pregnant and can do this tehehhe”

I got a promotion at work and am thrilled. It’s a bit more responsibility and more hours, a wage increase but it’s awesome. I have an amazing store manager and our district manager is great too. My personality meshes with them very well and I feel so comfortable. Not to mention it is a great company to work for. I get benefits, stock, retirement plans, free coffee and beans and all sorts of other random perks. I almost moved out to Seattle but I was trying to see if I could get a transfer with my company on top of the job offer I already had. I didn’t want to let go of my benefits!

R got baptized this weekend. A’s mom got insane about it as normal, invited over all her friends and family (I didn’t want here there) none of whom are Catholic and kept referring to the Baptism as a “christening” I corrected her several times prior to the event and am a little angry that she doesn't listen. Then Monday she stopped by tore A down and I told her to get out of my house. I told her she needs professional mental help and that she destroys A each time she comes here. She said that A called her a stalker (which she is) and I said “yes you are stalking us” I should have added that she is manipulative and abusive but I just wanted her to get out. I don’t know what went so wrong in her life that she is like this, but it’s not ok, and she can’t take things out on A!

In happier news, back to R: she’s rolling back to tummy and once in a blue moon she will flip back over. Nursing is not going well right now, but I don’t want to switch to formula. I am not ready for that! I used to be able to feed her entirely from one side, but now I have to do both sides for many feedings and then give her a few more ounces in a bottle. I feel like a failure. I went and got some supplements that one of my regular customers told me works well to increase milk production and started it last night. Hopefully it helps. I am also trying to pump a little more. This morning for example I pumped from one side and fed her from the other and was prepared to give her a bottle if need be but I would have kept pumping from the one side. I got ½ an ounce out of my pump and she didn’t fuss for more food. We will see what happens. If things aren’t better by Monday I am going to call WIC and see if they have any ideas for help or if I can switch over to formula. I really don’t want to!