176.8

that's what the scale said today. Sad day, here I thought I was loosing baby weight, but nope, it has moved UP in the past two weeks. Now now, don't go racing to the comment section to say "but you just had a baby, be patient with yourself!" I think the real frustration is that I have been using that as an excuse for everything. Should I take the girls for a walk today? No, I just had a baby. Should I try to go for a jog before Adam has to go to work? No, I just had a baby. Should I start to watch what I eat? Nahh, relax, your tired and just had a baby! It's time to face the facts, I was heavier than normal to begin this pregnancy (155 to my usual 135) and you gained a lot (191 on delivery day! Hey in all fairness with Regi I gained 50 lbs even!) and I am not going to lose the weight eating chips to stay awake while nursing at 4 am and sitting on my behind calling housework "enough" exercise!

I bought some new pants for work today, there was quite a line at the dressing room so I brought them home confident they'd be a touch snug but not bad....nope, the first pair I couldn't even pull up past my lower thigh and the second pair not over the hips. bummer!! I am going to go back tomorrow and hope there's less people there so I can actually try stuff on in the store. I don't want to spend a ton on new clothes for a temporary shape but I can't go without work pants!

I guess I am sharing this with you all because I need to be held accountable to SOMEBODY or I will keep making excuses. Sure I should be able to hold myself accountable but it's too easy to talk myself out of will and into a bag of chocolate. I need someone to look at me and say "did you really need the WHOLE bag of m&m's? That bag of chips should have lasted more than three days! etc. I am also one of those people who if I don't get instant results I get frustrated and give up (how I got to 155 from the 140 I had been down to in June, and up to 155 by Nov!) Maybe this way I will actually do something about it! I know it will take some time and effort and I need to be light on myself, ease into it and let myself make a mistake here and there but I also know I won't be happy with myself if I don't do something and why put it off?