Monday, July 06, 2009

boring rant for you

Today I have the day off, it’s been a long four or five days that I’ve worked, mostly because I have been with or handed a floor by one of the most challenging people in the store to work with and so I had my work cut out for me. One day we worked together for 4 hours and he said “wow! I can’t believe how much you got done!” and I said “yeah” but wanted to say “uh….yeah how do you NOT get this much done?” oh well, I am worn out and glad I have the day off but it stinks because I feel like crud. I feel nauseous and achy…not contraction-ish but just gross. All I want to do is sleep or lie on the couch but I have too much to do.

somehow A’s mom found out our home phone number. This is why we don’t have voicemail set up, so if she ever did call she wouldn’t know it’s us. She’s called two times and had his sister call once in case we’d answer. We haven't, nor have we mentioned anything to them that we got their calls but seriously? Who gave her our number? We’ve had it since Dec 2005!! If we wanted her to have the number we would have given it to her. She’s (and the cost of them) the reason we gave up cell phones. A gave her his number after almost a year because he felt he should just in case and said that she can only call in either an emergency and no more than twice a week. She would call him five or six times a day. Not to mention all the times she stopped, and still does stop by the house, unannounced, uninvited. We never gave her our address, she just found us. I guess we do have two fairly distinctive cars. She tells everyone, and the whole family thinks I hate her but that’s not the case. A and she have such a bad, unhealthy, relationship (shes verbally and emotionally abusive with manipulation being the icing on her cake) that I refuse to have one with her until they mend theres. She has put me in the middle, or tried to at least, one too many times. I have told her this, I have also told her, and A has told her that HE is the one who doesn’t want R around her. He doesn’t want her to hurt R like he has been hurt and has seen it. I don’t want R around the two of them because that is a very destructive model to see and she should never see her father torn down like he is when around his mom. She should think her dad is a superhero and the best person in the world as long as possible. I am the bad guy though because I took him away from her. I don’t mind that they think that of me, I wish A could stand up for R and I but he can’t even stand up for himself, nor could his dad. I am so glad he has R and I, and my parents who while they don’t understand his troubles in the job world, are supportive, kind, patient, and do want whats best for him (and of course for R and I!) They have understood many of A and my battles are tied into his childhood and his controlled and manipulated life until he met me and moved out.

A’s best friend is back in town and it’s been wonderful! This friend has a troubled past but is making the best of it he can and is working hard to overcome his own demons while able to love like no one else! A is not good at writing letters or anything so it was always strange for me to write this friend in their time of need but I did, and I think that is what kept the two of them as close as they are. I’d understand the hurt this friend must have felt when they needed friends and support and had many turn their backs on him. It’s amazing what cards and letters can do. In this day and age we forget about them too often!

A did get a job! He is cleaning a bar after it closes and he’s the only one they have to do it right now. They’ve tried to hire someone else but twice the people don’t show. Cleaning a bar is not a glamorous job but it’s something! A is so grateful and while he hates working the hours (2:30-8:30 ish) seven days a week he is so glad to have something. I am glad to have the bed all to myself until R joins me sometime around 4am. Sounds selfish but A is a twitcher, clicker, snorer and unless I am over exhausted I con’t sleep well with him in a bed with me. How did we sleep in a twin when we first moved in together? and I was pregnant then too!! Thank goodness we have a queen now thanks to my parents, but I like the bed to myself =)

My plans for the rest of the day:
enjoy the storm outside now that I rolled up the car windows
go to Target when R gets up from her “rest”
do some sewing in the evening
watch The Secret Life of The American Teenager and Army Wives
Fold Laundry

All I can say is I am glad I got R down for her rest before the storm hit and decided to put her down before Target so we aren’t scrambling in the rain! and hail the size of silver dollars!!

1 comment:

a good yarn said...

It sounds like you really need to rest. Try and snatch some time for that. Not easy, I realise, but awfully necessary. Your little family certainly has some challenges to face. Hang in there. Ann :)