day dreams

I have been thinking about this post for a few days now, but housework has kept me from taking the time to write it, not tha tI feel like I am caught up now, but A’s at work and R’s down for the night after a long walk to the park and many adventures there, so I have a moment to think and put my thoughts into sentences. It’s amazing what peace and quiet (and a few things crossed off my to do list) will give me!

I had to walk home from work on Monday, A had the car to take R to the babysitters and I had to walk home. It’s about a mile and a half and I walked at a steady, almost brisk pace to hurry home and have some peace and quiet before R got home, but she was there (with the sitters of course) waiting for me. Bummer. On the walk I had a lot of time to let my mind wander, something that I rarely have been able to do lately. I came to a few conclusions.

The first of which that came to me was the idea of taking 30minutes to an hour each day as just me time. This would not be time to clean, or cook dinner, or even plan something for R, but just to explore who I am, to be by myself, to do something I like. I doubt it will happen each day, but it’s a nice goal and something I will strive to provide for myself. I have not told A about this, that’s on the agenda for tomorrow when we will have some time together. I think I need it though. I feel so stretched thin with work and home that I need to take some time to revive myself. I think he will understand, at least I hope he does. I will let you all know how it goes. I think the biggest challenge will not be getting him on board, but not feeling guilty about doing something for myself, like quilting, or working on a puzzle when there’s housework to do.

Something else that caught my attention was how much better I felt walking around in a nice warm sun, just daydreaming. Mostly about houses I wouldn’t mind living in and those I would not want to (big castle like houses I walked past, I have a hard enough time keeping my small apartment clean, I don’t want to have to worry about a huge house!) I also had a bit more patience with R that afternoon and more energy. I need to get out and enjoy the fresh air some more, get more exercise. I will admit I am worn out to the core, but I did see that I was a little lighter in spirits after getting the blood flowing.

As I mentioned I was daydreaming about houses, I would love to buy a house and then eventually work on building one for us. I have a few ideas and would like to take a drafting class to learn how to draw house plans and work on some that I might like. I used to draw out houses and could do rough sketches on graph paper. Maybe I will start that for now and then work up, or maybe find someone who can do a real one for us. I don’t know how realistic this idea is since A’s not too handy, but it would be nice to add my own touches to a house and have it built and designed for me. There are a lot of houses out there I do like. Most important to me would be a nice deck, a big fenced in yard, and some large bushes that R could create her own secret world like I used to. (I think lilac bushes would be nice for that!) I also want to have a garden for flowers, fruits and veggies. Rose bushes are a MUST! I have so many good memories of both my mom and my Pop-Pop caring for their rose bushes and the smell of those big, beautiful garden roses. I also want at least two, maybe two and a half baths, a laundry room up with the bedrooms, a master suite, two bedrooms and an office/guestroom. I would love to have both a formal and informal dining room and a nice living room, but that’s for later down the road, right now just two baths and three bedrooms will do. I like to dream big though!