HI EVERYONE!
I forgot my password, and well...one thing lead to another I locked myself out, then what a YEAR went by and I tried again. I actually just reset it this time, it was much more helpful than last year!
How are you? Ive been busy, but good.
Still work for Starbucks, still single, still sewing when I have time, still love my two girls to pieced.
I am quilting in spurts. It's really odd. I will go a month or two with no desire to sew and then one week I will make 2 tops and dream about quilts. Interestingly enough there is not a correlation between being tired and not sewing. I am sewing both when exhausted and when well rested, just in spurts.
R is a first grader now, loving school. She's really good with math, reading she's a "level E" (she started K as an A ended as a D, slid back to C over the summer even with my best attempts to keep her engaged, and is now an E!) she did soccer and cross country this fall. She is in Lego Club and Science Club right now and will do Ski Bus in January. Busy busy little body.
H is in preschool 2. I was hopeful that she'd be ready for K next fall, but it looks like in her best interest we will do PreK next year and do Kindergarden the following year. I want it more for selfish reasons, she's be in school 8:15-12 then could be at Kids Club after school (the daycare there) until 6pm like her sister, but shes just not ready. She makes the cut off for K by two weeks, but better to be older than younger sometimes. She loves her cooking class at school on Weds and this week made french toast.
I went on one date so far. It was with a friend and really more of two friends going to the movie together than a date, but it's my first one so far so we'll count it.
I'm planning some fun pinterst-y things for the girls for a "Christmas fun day with mommy" for the weekend after Thanksgiving. Grinch Punch, Christmas Trees made from candy frosting, and ice cream cones (instead of a gingerbread house) Grinch cookies, I am trying to get the Grinch movie, the old one not the live action scary one!
I will try to get pics posted soon! Take care!
Friday, November 22, 2013
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
I am we'll
I have an I phone nos and am trying to figure out how to get my pics on here onto the blog... I tell you, if its not one thing it's another! Things have been busy but great. I am no longer house hunting. My car broke down a month and change ago (timing belt snapped and my crankshaft is now 45 degrees off kilter) in addition to all the other things I need. Dad and my brother and I are trying to find me a new car but all of us are dragging our feet. We narrowed it down to a slightly used 2011,2012, or dealer model/demo 2013 Subaru but no more details than that.
The girls are great they both love school and I just had conferences with Ed teachers. They love having her in class, she participates well. Nurtures her peers, can speak well in front of her class's. she has a ways to go for reading, but will get there. That's so nice to hear. H has nothing major to note but thinks the a b c song is only for her to sing. Too funny
Adam and his mom are coming out dec 14-16. I have not heard from him since march and know he only called to tell me they were coming because he was forced into it.... No manipulated into it by his mom. He's not doing it on his own or because he wants to which is so sad. I amgoingto ask rs librarian if she knows any characters in books who are overcoming being in or under loved and have a hard time showing love or growing up. Help her understand its nothing to do with her. I still have yet to speak ill of him around the girls but I ant to be ready for those tough conversations when they come up. Honestly, respectfully, and empathetic lay.
I found an awesome online fabric store. Ozark fabrics and other fun things on Facebook ( my phone won't let me share the link) she has greasy prices, but selection is limited and moves fast. She does close outs from manufacturers! She's doing a membership drive now!
I will figure this picture thing out and bombard you with cuteness by the end of this month!
Miss you all!
The girls are great they both love school and I just had conferences with Ed teachers. They love having her in class, she participates well. Nurtures her peers, can speak well in front of her class's. she has a ways to go for reading, but will get there. That's so nice to hear. H has nothing major to note but thinks the a b c song is only for her to sing. Too funny
Adam and his mom are coming out dec 14-16. I have not heard from him since march and know he only called to tell me they were coming because he was forced into it.... No manipulated into it by his mom. He's not doing it on his own or because he wants to which is so sad. I amgoingto ask rs librarian if she knows any characters in books who are overcoming being in or under loved and have a hard time showing love or growing up. Help her understand its nothing to do with her. I still have yet to speak ill of him around the girls but I ant to be ready for those tough conversations when they come up. Honestly, respectfully, and empathetic lay.
I found an awesome online fabric store. Ozark fabrics and other fun things on Facebook ( my phone won't let me share the link) she has greasy prices, but selection is limited and moves fast. She does close outs from manufacturers! She's doing a membership drive now!
I will figure this picture thing out and bombard you with cuteness by the end of this month!
Miss you all!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
tiny posts
sorry for all the little posts, but you have to live =) I want to share and celebrate the girls, and quilting if I ever get back to it. I now have three quilts ready to bind thanks to my wonderful aunt and her long arm machine. Two for Seattle Children's and one that is on R's bed, not yet bound but oh well.
This morning I had to get the girls to daycare since I started later (6:45 instead of 4:30am) and daycare was open. When I woke H up (R was already getting dressed) the very first words out of her mouth were "H sleeping. Shhhhh" (in her cute toddler accent). Poor sweetie.
R is really pushing the limits this week. She cannot ride her bike (to the neighbors driveways on either side of our house) nor go play with the neighbors tomorrow. That's what happens when you don't help mommy with the chores and you don't listen. She is going to be a tough one come teen years!!!
This morning I had to get the girls to daycare since I started later (6:45 instead of 4:30am) and daycare was open. When I woke H up (R was already getting dressed) the very first words out of her mouth were "H sleeping. Shhhhh" (in her cute toddler accent). Poor sweetie.
R is really pushing the limits this week. She cannot ride her bike (to the neighbors driveways on either side of our house) nor go play with the neighbors tomorrow. That's what happens when you don't help mommy with the chores and you don't listen. She is going to be a tough one come teen years!!!
Monday, August 20, 2012
note to self
This is a little on the preachy side, so don’t feel like you have to read. I just wanted to share and remember.
This weekend I went to the Washington Auction of Wines (WOW). It raises money for Seattle Childrens and the Washington Wine Education program at WSU. (Did you know that Washington is now one of the top wine producing states? We are going to knock CA off the charts!) We had a winemaker at our table, and drank his wines with out meal. He was odd, but what winemaker isn’t? I was there to balance the table out, there was one person who my folks wanted at their table, but they were a singleton so they bought me a ticket so I was another singleton. Wonderful experience.
Anyways, I am always so thankful I have not needed Seattle Childrens various services for my children. But more profoundly, my dads’ parents were my babysitters that night. How amazing is it that my girls get to spend time with my dads’ folks (at their own home, playing in their back yard, reading books on their couches…the same house and couch and yard my dad grew up with.)
On the way to their house, R wanted to list all the people she loves:
Grandma
Grandpa
Uncle B
Aunt K
(the rest are actually greats)
Aunt T
Uncle N
God
Aunt MA
Aunt J
Pop-Pop
Nana (“who is in Heaven but I can still love her”)
The Other Uncle B
Aunt K
All the other people I have not met yet but are my family.
How wonderful that they get to spend time with MY aunts and uncles and grandparents (Nana and Pop-Pop are my moms folks, Nana passed away 2 ½ years ago, but we talk about her. H is so much a mix of the two of them it’s amazing.) How wonderful that both girls know them, has memories and special times, and they both know they are loved back. H can list them off too, but usually when prompted, not spontaniously.
This weekend I went to the Washington Auction of Wines (WOW). It raises money for Seattle Childrens and the Washington Wine Education program at WSU. (Did you know that Washington is now one of the top wine producing states? We are going to knock CA off the charts!) We had a winemaker at our table, and drank his wines with out meal. He was odd, but what winemaker isn’t? I was there to balance the table out, there was one person who my folks wanted at their table, but they were a singleton so they bought me a ticket so I was another singleton. Wonderful experience.
Anyways, I am always so thankful I have not needed Seattle Childrens various services for my children. But more profoundly, my dads’ parents were my babysitters that night. How amazing is it that my girls get to spend time with my dads’ folks (at their own home, playing in their back yard, reading books on their couches…the same house and couch and yard my dad grew up with.)
On the way to their house, R wanted to list all the people she loves:
Grandma
Grandpa
Uncle B
Aunt K
(the rest are actually greats)
Aunt T
Uncle N
God
Aunt MA
Aunt J
Pop-Pop
Nana (“who is in Heaven but I can still love her”)
The Other Uncle B
Aunt K
All the other people I have not met yet but are my family.
How wonderful that they get to spend time with MY aunts and uncles and grandparents (Nana and Pop-Pop are my moms folks, Nana passed away 2 ½ years ago, but we talk about her. H is so much a mix of the two of them it’s amazing.) How wonderful that both girls know them, has memories and special times, and they both know they are loved back. H can list them off too, but usually when prompted, not spontaniously.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Two wonderful days
Last Thursday was National Neighborhood Night Out (or maybe not national, but I think it is.) The girls and I participated. We went to City Hall to meet and greet the local police. I thought it would be into a room, la-te-da shake hands, touch a car, look at a badge, get a coloring book, take a picture, and back home. I didn't plan to be there for long. OH NEXT TIME I WILL KNOW! We were there for almost 3 hours and still didn't do everything.
When we got there they were just getting going, we got to climb into a police car, see a clown act, tie die t-shirts, climb into a garbage truck. By the time we did all that the county's search and rescue teams were they’re pulling out rafts and rescue gear for the kids to climb on, touch, try to wear. As the girls were climbing all over one of the rafts, SWAT pulled up in TWO trucks. The girls got to climb all over those too, and they got to see one of the bomb deactivating robots in action and got to control one of the robots that goes in and scopes things out. They each got a turn! There were two local high school cheer squads that did little shows, their mascots and Smokey the Bear got into three legged races with the sheriff, the police chief, and the fire chief. Smokey won. I think he and the fire chief have been practicing. As that was finishing up a county helicopter flew RIGHT OVER US! and landed at the bottom of the hill and all the kids were invited to climb all over it. This was the third stop for the helicopter but you'd think it was the first with how wonderful those men were. The girls also got fingerprinted; they did get those coloring books (copy write 1991, so the same ones I grew up on!) I got AFIS kits for both the girls, hot dogs, sno cones, and hula hoop lessons from the clowns. All.... wait for it.....for free!!! And there were only like 50 kids, so 75-80 people plus all the officers. AWESOME! We are doing that one again next year!
Today was less structured. We were at a local outdoor air mall (why do they build those around Seattle?) where I left a book at the Starbucks I had a meeting at earlier today. We got coffee, and as we were leaving I saw a fire engine parked in the middle of the mall (the road runs through it) without lights on. Odd I thought. Then I looked around and made the girls follow me. Eventually they saw it. Four firemen were in the middle of a spay fountain (that doesn’t pool but recycles) splashing around with the kids who were playing there. I let the girls join in even though they were not in swimsuits like the other kids. How could I not? In the end the men were SOAKED, the kids were thrilled, moms were taking pics and video on their phones (yeah I am not that cool!) and my girls were happy. The firemen drove off and honked their horn, the kids cheered, they all got hats signed by the firemen, we had fun.
Even more wonderful, on the way to the car, soaking and happy, R said "Mommy, thank you for letting us play. It was so much fun." I said "you are welcome, sweetie." H said "Thankum Mommy." I said "Welcome, sweetie." and a lady walking next to us said "Wow, What wonderful manners." Yup, sometimes I am doing a good job.
When we got there they were just getting going, we got to climb into a police car, see a clown act, tie die t-shirts, climb into a garbage truck. By the time we did all that the county's search and rescue teams were they’re pulling out rafts and rescue gear for the kids to climb on, touch, try to wear. As the girls were climbing all over one of the rafts, SWAT pulled up in TWO trucks. The girls got to climb all over those too, and they got to see one of the bomb deactivating robots in action and got to control one of the robots that goes in and scopes things out. They each got a turn! There were two local high school cheer squads that did little shows, their mascots and Smokey the Bear got into three legged races with the sheriff, the police chief, and the fire chief. Smokey won. I think he and the fire chief have been practicing. As that was finishing up a county helicopter flew RIGHT OVER US! and landed at the bottom of the hill and all the kids were invited to climb all over it. This was the third stop for the helicopter but you'd think it was the first with how wonderful those men were. The girls also got fingerprinted; they did get those coloring books (copy write 1991, so the same ones I grew up on!) I got AFIS kits for both the girls, hot dogs, sno cones, and hula hoop lessons from the clowns. All.... wait for it.....for free!!! And there were only like 50 kids, so 75-80 people plus all the officers. AWESOME! We are doing that one again next year!
Today was less structured. We were at a local outdoor air mall (why do they build those around Seattle?) where I left a book at the Starbucks I had a meeting at earlier today. We got coffee, and as we were leaving I saw a fire engine parked in the middle of the mall (the road runs through it) without lights on. Odd I thought. Then I looked around and made the girls follow me. Eventually they saw it. Four firemen were in the middle of a spay fountain (that doesn’t pool but recycles) splashing around with the kids who were playing there. I let the girls join in even though they were not in swimsuits like the other kids. How could I not? In the end the men were SOAKED, the kids were thrilled, moms were taking pics and video on their phones (yeah I am not that cool!) and my girls were happy. The firemen drove off and honked their horn, the kids cheered, they all got hats signed by the firemen, we had fun.
Even more wonderful, on the way to the car, soaking and happy, R said "Mommy, thank you for letting us play. It was so much fun." I said "you are welcome, sweetie." H said "Thankum Mommy." I said "Welcome, sweetie." and a lady walking next to us said "Wow, What wonderful manners." Yup, sometimes I am doing a good job.
testing testing....yup still here!
ahh summer, how I love you. We've been rather cool for the most part here in the Pacific Northwest. Only a few 2-3 day long tastes of summer. Just when I put the sweaters back in the closet, pull out the shorts (or skirts since I don’t like my legs in shorts) I have to pull them back out.... one...at. a...time, hopeful that I will put them right back. The good thing is R is now 6, and we have a neighbor girl who is 8, and HER brother is like 11. The two girls play together a lot, and the boy keeps a good eye on them without playing with them much. I let her ride her bike to that neighbor’s driveway and to the other neighbor’s driveway too. BIG privilege, which also means she sometimes, looses privileges for a day, or an afternoon.
School starts in about 2 weeks for r and 3 or 4 for H. WAHOOO. I mean, so sad, I lose time with my girls.... yeah, that's what I mean.
I had a practice interview for Assistant Store Manager (ASM) and she gave me some great feedback, some encouragement, some tools to use to learn more, and wants to work with me on refining my presentation. I have the passion and the knowledge, but if I can incorporate more "starbuckese" into my conversations I'll stick out in a crowd better. All for that!
Monday I saw a new dentist (new since move.... I loved my old one, but I think I like this one so far. I didn't cry, and that's HUGE for me. I had a VERY bad experience when I was younger and dread and hate the dentist like none other.) Tomorrow I am having a root canal done. The tooth that my last dentist said 40% chance it would be fine, and 60% we'd have to go back in and do the root canal...well, 60% here I am. That's tomorrow at a specialist, then Thurs I am going into my guy again and we are going to go over my x-rays, figure out which teeth to take care of first (what’s bothering me, what's bad, and then the rest), how to get me to my $2000 insurance limit before my insurance year runs out, etc. and then get to work!! I am in pain on three teeth; one is the one getting the root canal. I am glad to get this worked on, but I am anxious.
I ran head first into a quilting wall. I told Katie (HI KATIE!) about it on her last post, I ran out of bobbin thread and just have not been able to get motivated. I was 1/2 way though a seam too.... odd.
anyways, that’s all for now!
School starts in about 2 weeks for r and 3 or 4 for H. WAHOOO. I mean, so sad, I lose time with my girls.... yeah, that's what I mean.
I had a practice interview for Assistant Store Manager (ASM) and she gave me some great feedback, some encouragement, some tools to use to learn more, and wants to work with me on refining my presentation. I have the passion and the knowledge, but if I can incorporate more "starbuckese" into my conversations I'll stick out in a crowd better. All for that!
Monday I saw a new dentist (new since move.... I loved my old one, but I think I like this one so far. I didn't cry, and that's HUGE for me. I had a VERY bad experience when I was younger and dread and hate the dentist like none other.) Tomorrow I am having a root canal done. The tooth that my last dentist said 40% chance it would be fine, and 60% we'd have to go back in and do the root canal...well, 60% here I am. That's tomorrow at a specialist, then Thurs I am going into my guy again and we are going to go over my x-rays, figure out which teeth to take care of first (what’s bothering me, what's bad, and then the rest), how to get me to my $2000 insurance limit before my insurance year runs out, etc. and then get to work!! I am in pain on three teeth; one is the one getting the root canal. I am glad to get this worked on, but I am anxious.
I ran head first into a quilting wall. I told Katie (HI KATIE!) about it on her last post, I ran out of bobbin thread and just have not been able to get motivated. I was 1/2 way though a seam too.... odd.
anyways, that’s all for now!
Sunday, June 03, 2012
blah blah blah....
I wish I had pictures, but in the meantime:
My aunt has a long arm machine (that does it all!) so when I was visiting, I got 3 quilts quilted, and backing for two tops.
The three quilts done are now bound too. Two are for Seattle Childrens' Hospital, one is for a co-worker having a baby. I don't think she'll appreciate it as much as others I know would. You know the type. Oh well! I couldn't NOT make her one especially since I already HAD the fabric.
I learned my "slightly over sized queens" are really "jumbo kings" ooops =) I love my aunt.
I made a CUTE quilt with leftovers from the co-workers baby fabric (and will donate it) and STILL have more!! I want to track down just one fat quarter of Hungry Caterpillar fabric with numbers on it, NOT blue or yellow. Willing to bribe it or trade it out of some one's stash!
I took a class with my mom on making a tree skirt with the 9 degree wedge ruler. The math for my strata and the wedge ruler cutting were the hard parts, the skirt (and strata) came together easy peasy! I am donating it to the girls' school auction along with a bottle of wine (to guarantee it goes) and some place mats, maybe make some of those tree folded napkins.
a "new" car is taking precedence over a new home. We are still looking in case there's something WONDERFUL but not being aggressive about it at the moment. My car needs: a new catalytic converter, exhaust manifold, driver side mirror, mechanism to roll the windows up and down, trunk release thingie, somethings wrong with the ABS system (according to the light) as well as an airbag (again a light). By the time I fix all that plus little things like cup holders with cracks, fabric wear and tear etc I am paying more than the value of the car, so my brother is helping me research more family friendly cars than a 2001 VW Bug. I will be so sad to see that car go.
That's it for me! I have been reading along, I just feel posts with pics are better, but oh well!
My aunt has a long arm machine (that does it all!) so when I was visiting, I got 3 quilts quilted, and backing for two tops.
The three quilts done are now bound too. Two are for Seattle Childrens' Hospital, one is for a co-worker having a baby. I don't think she'll appreciate it as much as others I know would. You know the type. Oh well! I couldn't NOT make her one especially since I already HAD the fabric.
I learned my "slightly over sized queens" are really "jumbo kings" ooops =) I love my aunt.
I made a CUTE quilt with leftovers from the co-workers baby fabric (and will donate it) and STILL have more!! I want to track down just one fat quarter of Hungry Caterpillar fabric with numbers on it, NOT blue or yellow. Willing to bribe it or trade it out of some one's stash!
I took a class with my mom on making a tree skirt with the 9 degree wedge ruler. The math for my strata and the wedge ruler cutting were the hard parts, the skirt (and strata) came together easy peasy! I am donating it to the girls' school auction along with a bottle of wine (to guarantee it goes) and some place mats, maybe make some of those tree folded napkins.
a "new" car is taking precedence over a new home. We are still looking in case there's something WONDERFUL but not being aggressive about it at the moment. My car needs: a new catalytic converter, exhaust manifold, driver side mirror, mechanism to roll the windows up and down, trunk release thingie, somethings wrong with the ABS system (according to the light) as well as an airbag (again a light). By the time I fix all that plus little things like cup holders with cracks, fabric wear and tear etc I am paying more than the value of the car, so my brother is helping me research more family friendly cars than a 2001 VW Bug. I will be so sad to see that car go.
That's it for me! I have been reading along, I just feel posts with pics are better, but oh well!
Monday, April 23, 2012
I'm not lost!
I am sorry for not visiting. I have been reading. With no camera (well, camera, no charger-lost in the move somehow! and this computer doesn't have the little drive I used to use on mine, and mine isn't connected to the Internet) it's no fun to blog. I can tease you all I want trying to describe what I've been working on, but I just want to SHOW you!
The girls are doing well. R's teacher told me she's really noticed R's maturing a lot since the year started. We are starting to work on eye contact and consequences for her actions more than punishment. Time outs weren't working, losing privileges weren't working well but consequences seems to be working, maybe it's just the novelty of it. Consequences can be good or bad. you do your chose, you get desert, you don't do it, you don't get desert. You clean your toys up, H doesn't play with them and lose something, you don't clean them up, mommy might take them away for the day (or at night for the next day) We talk about it A LOT!
H is growing. She looks so much like me it's scary sometimes. R taught her how to write the letter H, and how to sit "criss cross applesauce" so that's what we do =) Mom and I were talking about her a few days ago. She was talking about how happy she is that we can go visit her dad (more on that in a moment) and how much H reminds her of Pop-Pop. I said "really? I see ALL Nana" Mom sees the engineer, logical, thinker and planner; Nana had this gift where she could meet you and you'd be drawn to her. She had so many life long friends she made by chance encounters. She loved with all her heart and genuinely cared about those who came into her life. She could make a friend anywhere. H has that gift too. Mom was pleased and surprised that I knew that about Nana and that I can see it in H.
So we are going on a trip soon! My aunt who lives in Vegas has a long arm machine, and mom has gone down a few times to help her learn about it. (that what she says she's doing) and I have sent two donation quilts and one for a co-worker who is having a baby soon, Then we discovered that I am about to stop accumulating vacation (120 hours, I am at like 109 right now!) so I need to take some...why loose out on "free" money? we talked to my aunt, then Pop-Pop, who lives in Vegas too, and they both are free on the same weekend, so we are going down! I have an uncle who lives there too (and is with LVPD so I can't get into mischief, not that I would!) And then mom asked her other sister if she was free that weekend, and she is, so the girls and I fly down early Friday (12 days from now), and get in 10 minutes before my aunt, she will meet us in baggage claim, hopefully my uncles girlfriend can meet us at the gate, since she works for LVPD-Airport and can help me. Mom will come down later that day. Dad will hopefully get some work down on the remodel without his two "assistants."
No luck on the move yet, a second place mom and I liked was snatched up fast. We are looking at one tomorrow that from the pics I am REALLY excited about so pray, cross fingers, wish luck....whatever you do that might work. Mom and I will see it, then if we DO like it, mom and dad will go back. That's the part we keep getting beat out of places with.
The girls are doing well. R's teacher told me she's really noticed R's maturing a lot since the year started. We are starting to work on eye contact and consequences for her actions more than punishment. Time outs weren't working, losing privileges weren't working well but consequences seems to be working, maybe it's just the novelty of it. Consequences can be good or bad. you do your chose, you get desert, you don't do it, you don't get desert. You clean your toys up, H doesn't play with them and lose something, you don't clean them up, mommy might take them away for the day (or at night for the next day) We talk about it A LOT!
H is growing. She looks so much like me it's scary sometimes. R taught her how to write the letter H, and how to sit "criss cross applesauce" so that's what we do =) Mom and I were talking about her a few days ago. She was talking about how happy she is that we can go visit her dad (more on that in a moment) and how much H reminds her of Pop-Pop. I said "really? I see ALL Nana" Mom sees the engineer, logical, thinker and planner; Nana had this gift where she could meet you and you'd be drawn to her. She had so many life long friends she made by chance encounters. She loved with all her heart and genuinely cared about those who came into her life. She could make a friend anywhere. H has that gift too. Mom was pleased and surprised that I knew that about Nana and that I can see it in H.
So we are going on a trip soon! My aunt who lives in Vegas has a long arm machine, and mom has gone down a few times to help her learn about it. (that what she says she's doing) and I have sent two donation quilts and one for a co-worker who is having a baby soon, Then we discovered that I am about to stop accumulating vacation (120 hours, I am at like 109 right now!) so I need to take some...why loose out on "free" money? we talked to my aunt, then Pop-Pop, who lives in Vegas too, and they both are free on the same weekend, so we are going down! I have an uncle who lives there too (and is with LVPD so I can't get into mischief, not that I would!) And then mom asked her other sister if she was free that weekend, and she is, so the girls and I fly down early Friday (12 days from now), and get in 10 minutes before my aunt, she will meet us in baggage claim, hopefully my uncles girlfriend can meet us at the gate, since she works for LVPD-Airport and can help me. Mom will come down later that day. Dad will hopefully get some work down on the remodel without his two "assistants."
No luck on the move yet, a second place mom and I liked was snatched up fast. We are looking at one tomorrow that from the pics I am REALLY excited about so pray, cross fingers, wish luck....whatever you do that might work. Mom and I will see it, then if we DO like it, mom and dad will go back. That's the part we keep getting beat out of places with.
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